| soooo |
[04 May 2007|01:49pm] |
Monday is NYC with the lopersahn
Should be a BLAST.
Saved up alot/had alot of loot to make the trip extra nice.
Kind of alot of drama lately. Shit is lame. Made the last few days really hard to get through. Glad it is all over and done with as far as I know. I am still pretty upset by it though. Trust is something i REALLY really value. It is pretty shitty when those closest to you break that or make it so that you cant trust them as much as you wish you could.
I just hope that everything crappy is over and done with. I cant handle it anymore. I want stability back in my life. I was normalcy even. I want everything to go back to the way it was. I know it will. I mean, I hope so. I just hate transitional periods. Sometimes I wish I didnt find out the things I did. I wish I could be naive. But I cant. Sometimes it seems like a good way to go through life but Id always rather know the truth...even though it always crushes me...
Happy birthday again baby <3
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| I ONLY update from work |
[27 Mar 2007|09:30am] |
I just got to work. I wanna go buy breakfast at Bagel Chateau but Im gonna post a quick update right quick. Things have been alright lately. The parental situation seems to be getting better? Popz moved back in last night (for a few days apparently) and we all ate dinner together. Me, my favortie girl in the world, Papa, n Mama. Jen went back to school yesterday afternoon. Apparently she already isnt happy being back again. Things were a little awkward but oh well. I cant expect much more then that right now I guess. My parents have beebn kinda cold to me recently. Its starting to piss me off. I know their whole situation is alot to handle for both of them, but dont really see why I am being treated differently as a result of it. Short phonecalls, never eating dinner together, never really seeing each other/let alone talking much. Me n Phee are rarely at the house as a result of it anyway. I mean, we usually spend as much time in Califon as we do in Pburg, but lately, it just seems pointless to be home when no one is there, or people arent really excited to see you.
Working almost everyday this week. I need money. I may try and find another job soon. I havent decided if it is to replace my current job, or to have two. I guess Ill find out soon though. Nike SB collecting has been put on a permanent hold basically. I havent had the money to buy any new ones. Also, the weather has been so shitty for the last few months I can barely even wear the 10 or so pairs I have already. It finally seems like it is getting nicer out, but between rain, and snow, and salt on the roads, I can never wear nice shoes. I wanna buy Godzilla Vs. Mothra (the thing) asap. There are so many things I wanna get on Amazon. But then again, when arent there. The Hideshi Hino art collection, Final Fantasy 8, and 9, The Guinea Pig DVD Boxset, Lupin the 3rd series (those I dont have), Simpsons Green and Blue DVD boxsets (I forget the season numbers) Castle of Cagliostro special 2 disk edition, Spirited Away, Nausicaa the Wind Valley, Castle in The Sky, Whisper of the Heart, Pom Poko, Princess Mononokee, Return of the Living Dead 1,2, n 3, Dragonball Z boxset 1 n 2, a goddamn WII!!! (I dont think we are ever going to get one at this point..) etc etc.
I never play videogames anymore aside from FF7 for PS1. That is probably one of the best games ever made. Seriously. I mean, I love any game that takes over 50 hours to beat, but the story is great n it is pretty damn challenging too. Lots of sidequests n bullshit like that as well. I only play videogames lately when Phee is on the computer or its one of those rare nights where we arent slumbering together.
I love Phee so much. Our relationship, like almost all other relationships, is one that is not without it's ups n downs, but lately, it is definitely on it's up streak. I just wanna spend every free minute I have with her. I dont know what I would do without her sometimes, but I am so thankful I have her. Its been about 9 or 10 months now that we have been together, and to be honest, time seriously just flies by when I am with her. It seems like only a month or two ago we were holding hands under a blanket somewhere in Kuttstown, and now we basically live together. I wouldnt have it any other way <3
Oh! In the process of starting a clothingline! Stay tuned d00dz!
Til' next time.. Which im sure will be a few months and another entry full of nothing you wanna read. heh hehhhhh.
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| writing an entry from work once again.. like usual... |
[03 Jan 2007|02:09pm] |
Soooo. This is the first week of 2007. I didnt make a resolution this year. Resolutions are a waste of time. I have never stuck with mine and I dont know anyone else that ever has either. Me and Phee n Marjorie are planning on going to the gym though. Not so much a resolution as something we all kinda need to do. ME and Phee are pretty outtah shape. I wont go into details, and Im sure im way more out of shaoe then she is, but its gettin a little rediculous. I hope we actually start going. The main thing keeping me from going is the money situation. I am currently 60 bucks or so in to saving up for a new tattoo from Josh(I didnt even make an appt. yet but I know he will be excited) and for getting Tiffany SB dunks from Steve in new Brunswick. Anyways, 2006 was a crazy year.. I will do my best to sum up the high and lowlights...
2006 in retrospect!
+ Cleaned up my act
+ Got out of a shitty relationship (thank goddd)
+ Stopped listening to people talking shit about old friends and realized they are pretty good friends
+ Starting dating the love of my life, Phee! Who basically lives with me now! Yessss.
+ Got a new tattoo
+ Got a shitload of DVDs
+ Saw the Texas Chainsaw prequel.. good movie mang.. see it
+ Had the best, most thoughtful birthday of my life courtesy of my beautiful girlfriend
+ Got her a siq ring that she wanted for a long time ( Yeah.. Im awesome :) )
+ Started hanging out with Mikey alot more... which is awesome
+ Found a well paying job that has flexible hours
+ Pretty sure im not allergic to cats anymore due to repeated exposure! (Starting to like em more..)
+ Started listening to Ghostface and Wu Tang again... Mmhmmm gurl!
+ Went to a business seminar. Learned alot
+ Bought and played Final Fantasy 3,4,5,12, and Tactics. Good year for games doodz
+ Took a few classes for a small sum of money and realized they werent for me without wasting a shitload of money ( also kinda sucks too, but oh well)
+ Oh.. and I was on national television and viewed by millions.. almost forgot that!
- Worked at the shithole sweatshop that is Journeys for wayyy longer then I should have ever allowed myself to. (which is a day past training)
- Havent been drawing as much as I would like to
- Had wayyy more drama then I would have liked (Id prefer ZERO drama obviously) thanks to a dellusional scumbag Ex that wouldnt get out of our lives...
- Sold my 360 (oops... sorry Phee... no Viva Pinata)
- stopped spending as much time with Buff as I would have liked to
- Bought 8 or 9 siq pairs of Nike SBs. (this should be in the + list but it set me back quite a chunk of change :\ )
- Saw some horribly shitty horror movies.. what a waste of money (Saw 3, Grudge 2, Black Christmas.. notice a pattern?)
- Had a few incidents I would rather have not been a part of or ever even found out about :(
- Got sick 2 or 3 times. Blehhhhh
- Kinda got screwed over by my doctor... but things eventually started to work out
- Lost a sweet New Era hat on highway 78. (Bye 30 bucks..)
So yeah.. Thats just the stuff I can remember right now. So, for the 2 or 3 people that read this... Hope you had a great 2006.
GOALS FOR 2007!!!
Get more tattoos!
Quit smoking finally? Or at least cut back
Get Tiffanys, Dunkles, Sea Crystals, Pusheads, or Iron SBs.
Start drawing WAY more.
Hopefully, start taking more steps torwards becoming a tattoo apprentice
Maybe move to Philly with my baby?
Help out as much as needed at the Digital Lounge which may very well one day be my own business/franchise if I should so desire.
Work on my already great relationship to ensure it is a healthy and long term relationship
that lasts as long as humanly possible... which is hopefully for a slong as we are alive
Maintain an ambitious attitude torwards life and work
Be a little more spontaneous
Work on making my relationship with my father a lil better
Hone one of my handful of talents into something I can enjoy both doing daily, and making a living off of possibly.(and get famous from too.Duh...)
Make other people smile/laugh more
Build up my horror/ cartoon dvd collection
Spend more time with lil Buff. (shes gettin up there :( and she will always be my best friend)
Maybe get a few more hobbies that arent so expensive? Haha
OH!
And most importantly... Keep laughing, having a blast, and enjoying life!
Another infamously long journal entry! Deal with it...
<3
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[02 Dec 2006|10:39am] |
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loveshack was great. Lover is great.
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[22 Nov 2006|03:31am] |
Im so trapped.
Physically and mentally
I read through your old Xanga entries tonight. Well, 2:30 AM. And every entry was just about how much you loved your boyfriend at the time
Kinda sucks
You are sleeping down stairs " cause you feel like it"
And im sitting in your room seriously contemplating walking home
Id make it back to my house before my parents woke up..
maybe.
No, Im not seeing any other girls
No, Im not telling other girls I wanna be with them
I dont know what to do
If you love me, nows the time to show it.
Ive never felt so useless and stupid before for some reason.
Im not excited for my birthday anymore
I dont want to get my hopes up for even going away.
At this point, it isnt looking likely
And I can celebrate my day of birth in a way that I guess I could call a tradition by now actually..
alone.
wow. what a depressing thought.
Ive stopped listening for any little noise that could be you coming back.
Ive realized that you arent.
doesnt feel good
hope you can sleep, cause i fucking cant
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| i<3hergood |
[20 Nov 2006|11:37am] |
so. Im on my way out the door to go apply at Gamestop in Hackettstown.. but decided to post a LJ entry for seemingly no reason. Life has been real good lately. Everything is great with the girl. Lovin her more n more each day. FINALLY seems like the bullshit and drama with scumbags has subsided and faded away. Very glad about that. We have grown alot as a couple I think. I have to give her alot of credit. I havent even told her this but I am really proud of her. She used to be really stubborn (arent we all..) when it came to fights or just petty arguements and I really must say.. lately there have been little to no fights because they end almost as soon as they start. A little comment here or there is usually enough to start a stupid fight with damn near anyone, but she has been apologizing and ending little bickerfests so fast and its really mature. I dunno. Most people wouldnt see that as a big deal but I love my girlfriend more then anything. And anything me or her could do to prolong our relationship, and hopefully, even have it last forever, just makes me happy. I know it takes alot to go from being stubborn to almost the complete opposite, and I should really follow what shes doing instead of just acknowledging it. haha. Anyways. Birthday comin up!
OH!
Phee told me what my birthday surpise is already... haha. We are horrible with surprises. We both basically already know what we are getting for Xmas over a month away. Needless to say, I am SO PUMPED! All im gonna say is she really went all out like she said she was gonna.SO thoughtful! She knows I am such a sucker for romance and she really is going to make this my 1st birthday thats actually memorable. No friends that I have ever had in my life have done anything remotely like this. Or even very nice at all. My parents are always great to me on my b-day but it's nice to have a loved one or friends that show you you do matter to them on your birthday. I mean, its one goddamn day a year. haha. Anyways.... Overnight in an amazing hotel. Heart-shaped hottub. Indoor pool... IN OUR ROOM! Heated, nonetheless. Breakfast in bed. Dinner w other couples. Fireplace. An HOUR massage the next morning. DVD n VCR ( I know people dont think thats anything special, but whatever, we are movie junkies.. so shut up!) Giant round bed. Roman collumns. Man.. Im excited. She also got me a Tokiedokie fannypack and Kidrobot toys! This girl really knows how to make her boy feel special! haha. I dont think I could be anymore in love with her then I am already.. Id be so jealous if anyone had a relationship like this and I didnt.
How are things still so new and exciting after half a year? Ive NEVER had a relationship like that before. Guess there's a 1st time for everything. :) Love you baby!
I have been playing Final Fantasy 3 for DS, 4 and 5 for GBA, and 12 for PS2 religiously now. I am such a nerd. I have gone from almost never getting excited w videogames and barely playing them to getting obsessed. haha. Also, I decided I may sell my 360. I am just not an Xbox guy. The games are wayyy too expensive. Over hyped. Not creative at all. And just plain boring. Prove me wrong Xbox. Please. Im not being sarcastic... I didnt WANT to pay half a grand for no reason, goddamnit!
Last thing, my and Phee were talking last night, and I realized how much im gonna miss her when shes away for Xmas. I just hope nothing shady happens. Or like, what I should say, is I hope she isnt put into any sketchy positions. Cause I know she just wants to see her best friend. I mean, Katie is awesome, I def see why she likes her so much. I just know how hot Phee is and I hope that there arent gonna be even more scummy doods tryin to get with my googie. OH! Raccoon tail in my hair today! and maybe extensions on top of that! Marge did Phee's hair last night and its hawt as hell. Thats all. Go to MySpace URL:
http://www.myspace.com/marjorieandphee
if you want extensions, colors, or cuts done for cheep guys! haha. Pluggin on LJ. gotta love it.
1 week til BDAY! Buy me stuff! Im not gonna buy you assholes booze without something in return! heh heh heeeehehheheheheudhgaudfhg[aoierth=w405 9e0uhjb
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[09 Nov 2006|05:43pm] |
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"thats where they go to die."
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| I am fucking pissed |
[07 Nov 2006|02:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
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NOT trophy scars |
] |
I havent been this mad in a long time. Im glad a song that used to be ours ( which I have NEVER done with a girl cause I always thought it was cliche and lame) is something a pathetic loser would put in his info as some retarded attempt to let you know he's still obsessed with you! Doesnt some horrible talentless tough-guy band say it better then my friend's band Trophy Scars? Christ. I am so sick of seeing/find out shit/& having shit kept from me. I have never hated someone as much as I have in my life. I have never had my whole body fill with rage and have my hands physically and visiably shaking from how pissed off I could get. Relationships are about being with someone that you love. They involve trust. They involve romance. They involve simple routines just as much as they involve spontaneity. They involve arguing and making up. Buying and recieving gifts once in a while as a suprise. Compliments. Gazing into each other's eyes. Saying, "I love you." I have never been in a relationship that someone could fuck up so much. Everytime I thought he was gone for good he'd pop up again a few weeks or months down the road. I hated the deceit and I hated the betrayal. He has/had almost torn us apart two or three times which is two or three times too many. How could someone so trashy, so ugly, so uninspiring and dull be tied to my life in someway? A loser that is so convinced he is tough and hardcore that other retards actually believe it? Why didn't I slam the door in his sobbing trembling face when he pathetically showed up at my house at 12 a.m. just to beg his ex girlfriend to leave my house with him or he would crash into a tree? How could anyone let someone define them so much that if they cant have them in their life they'd need to end it? Or at least make feeble attention-grabbing suicide attempts so that their loser friends feel even MORE sorry for them. haha. I am so sick of this kid. He needs to fucking MOVE ON! Maybe.. just maybe.. instead of having cybersex with other trashy girls online while she was sleeping in a bed only feet away from you you should have been laying with her? Or maybe instead of playing videogames all fucking day and night long you should have been paying attention to her? Maybe you shouldn't have slashed her tires and smashed her mirror off her car? Told her you hoped diseases would kill her? Told her you hoped she drove into a tree? Yeah... those are all great things to say or do to a person you apparently love. If you loved her as much as you claim you did/do then maybe you wouldnt have fucked up countless times. Second chances are reserved for those who deserve them. And from what Ive heard from her and her family.... you DEFINITELY dont even deserve the time of day from them. Have some dignity and realize there are other girls in the world that want a boring generic nerd to be their boyfriend. Who wouldnt want a cliche tough guy to threaten anyone that happens to look at your girlfriend for a second accidentally. Jesus. It's so sickening. Go do something with your life. If you are so convinced she doesnt want to be with me then why is she sleeping over every fucking night? Telling me she loves me? By my side every single goddamn day except when she has to work? Buying me gifts for my birthday and Xmas already? Telling me im going to have an amazing birthday? Why did she leave you for me if you are apparently so amazing?
Get over her and get over yourself.
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